Contrary to popular belief, an individual's personality development is not finalized (for the most part) in their childhood or adolescence, but in their 20’s. Due to all the changes happening in our brain, the environment around us, and the roles we hold, this period of development poses the greatest potential for rapid and dynamic personality transformation. However, individuals can get overwhelmed trying to make the best of this potential, leading them to push off making important decisions and commitments. In order to make the most of these opportunities, it’s important for individuals to recognize the power of cultivating a growth mindset, building confidence from the outside in, and engaging in social investment theory.
In my social psychology class, we learned about two contrasting mindsets: the fixed mindset (e.g., black-and-white thinking, our skills and abilities are unchangeable gifts/attributes), and the growth mindset (e.g., believing that growth and change in skills and abilities can occur). Our class favored the growth mindset, as it seemed more optimistic and encouraging. Regarding emerging adults, author Meg Jay stated that (of a longitudinal study of college students) students with fixed mindsets often gave up when they encountered discouraging challenges (e.g., daunting projects, low grades), and generally felt less confident (with higher feelings of distress and shame regarding school). Contrastingly, those with a growth mindset often worked harder and tried new strategies when they encountered challenges, performed better in school, and felt more confident, determined, and enthusiastic about their future. Unlike how the fixed mindset perceives skills and abilities, these mindsets are not set in stone. When my middle sister graduated high school, she was convinced that she missed out on the “smart” gene. She had okay grades, but nothing like our other siblings. Nonetheless, she ended up continuing her studies in pre-med and getting a job at a dermatology clinic. She found that with hard work, she could hone her abilities and develop her skills. While she was able to develop her fixed mindset into a growth one during this process, she still felt like she lacked the confidence she saw in others.
In my professional development seminar, we learned that it takes (roughly) 10,000 hours to develop mastery over a certain area or skill. It is important to note that this concept does not relate to any kind of random time spent in the area, but to intentional and focused work. Meg Jay also referenced this concept, stating that developing mastery over our emotions at work can help us engage better with these work related mastery experiences (helping us to feel less anxious and more confident). While my middle sister possessed all the skills and tools she needed for success, she did not have as much time spent towards developing mastery in her line of work. Because of this, her mistakes made her feel out of place and behind. She had not realized it at the time, but she was in the perfect place to develop robust confidence. Meg Jay explained that for success to lead to confidence, the job must be challenging and require genuine effort. When we are able to accommodate the demands of challenging effortful work, we begin to notice when our actions are received well on the outside. My sister learned to grow from her negative feedback, and started to feel affirmed by the positive feedback. Because of this, she was developing her confidence from the outside in.
Recognizing our potential for growth and finding our confidence can help it feel easier to take on our 20’s. These developments are crucial, as Meg Jay states that emerging adulthood is a time when people and personalities are poised for transformation (brain is changing, roles are changing, environment is changing; all at the same time). In my lifespan development class, we learned that social investment theory (e.g., growing by becoming more involved with the world around us) also plays a large role in this period. It is during this time in our life when we begin to shift from school to work, from casual flings to relationships, and from childhood bedrooms to homes of our own. Studies discussed by Meg Jay have shown that in making these commitments, we help trigger important developments in personality maturation. When we commit to a career where we spend much of our time, we start to feel an increase in our personal responsibility. When we enter steady relationships, we feel more secure and responsible (associated with less social anxiety, lower depression, less loneliness, increased emotion management and conflict resolution). Contrastingly, when we choose to not invest in these changes, we tend to feel stressed, angry, and alienated. Over spring break, I returned home to find that a few of my friends (who chose not to go to college) had grown angry and bitter. They were feeling aimless, and unsure of their future. At first I was shocked, but when I read more about social investment theory, it all began to make sense. Perhaps this suggests that, while making work and relationships commitments can be daunting, they are still something worthwhile to pursue for our personal growth and future (pursuing confidence and a growth mindset can help with this).
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